Things That Helped Me Not To Cut

This article was written by a member of the Sirius Project message boards. In it, she explains the things that helped her stop cutting herself. You can also read her account of how she copes with depression here.

My counsellor suggested that whenever I got a strong urge to cut (the feeling that I had to cut now), I should always try something else first, whether that be talking to someone about how I was feeling, screaming into my pillow, drawing on myself or whatever. If what I tried didn't reduce the urge, then I was "allowed" to cut. This worked really well! Because I always tried something before cutting, it helped me build up a big list of things that might help and get a good idea of when they would and when they wouldn't. And because I was "allowed" to cut afterwards, there wasn't too much pressure on me at a time when I was already very fragile mentally. As I learned more alternatives to cutting that worked for me, I started cutting less often. Once you're used to always trying one thing before cutting, you could move on to always trying two different things, and so on.

I also get urges which are less intense (I can wait a while before cutting, I just feel I'm gonna have to do it at some point), but which don't go away over a period of days or even weeks, and gradually seem to get stronger. I've found with them that they come in waves, so if I can ride out the wave, distracting myself in any way I can to take my mind off it, the urge does get weaker again. I also found that I could gradually go for longer between cutting each time. At first it was five days (I was stuck on five for a loooong time, I think because I believed it was impossible for me to go for longer than five days without cutting), then 10, then 11 and so on. Now it's reached five months.

Another thing that really helped was CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). It helped me cope with my depression better, so I didn't feel like I needed to cut so often. I also found I could use my CBT exercises as one of the things to try before cutting.

Finally, the thing that's really got rid of my depression has been meds. I had to try a few different antidepressants before I found one that worked for me. (The whole process could've been much quicker if my doctors had actually listened to/believed me when I said I didn't think something was helping!)

Overcoming self-harm wasn't easy, but I stuck at it, and I'm glad I did.

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