Many self-injurers are also survivors of abuse. For them, self-injury is often a way of dealing with the painful feelings and memories that abuse leaves behind.
What is abuse?
Adapted from Safeguarding our Children and Escaping Hades.
Physical abuse is defined as non-accidental injury to a child that may include severe beatings, burns, strangulation, or human bites. Adults can also be physically abused, as is the case in domestic violence.
Physical neglect is the failure to provide a child with basic necessities.
Sexual abuse is the sexual exploitation of a child, including rape, incest, fondling, exhibitionism, or pornography.
Emotional abuse is a pattern of behaviour that attacks a child’s emotional development and sense of self-worth. i.e. name-calling, put-downs, terrorization, isolation, humiliation, rejection, corruption, ignoring.
Rape or sexual assault can happen to both adults and children. Rape is when one person forces another to have sexual intercourse against his or her will. There are many different kinds of rape:
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- Stranger Rape: A person who the victim does not know rapes her. Example*: Rose, age 25, was accosted at knife point in a shopping mall parking lot and forced by a stranger into his car. He drove her to a rural area, raped her, stabbed her five times, set the car on fire, and left her. Although severely injured, she survived (*examples from The Rape Victim: Clinical & Community Intervention Koss & Harvey, 1991).
- Acquaintance Rape: The victim knows her attacker, although he is not a close friend or family member. Example: Susan, age 23, went to the door of her house to find a man she recognized from one of her college classes. She opened the door to let him in the house, whereupon he threw her on the sofa and raped her.
- Date Rape: The victim is dating the person who rapes her. Example: Diana, age 50, was vacationing in the Caribbean. She spent some of her time learning sailing and walking along the beach with a fellow guest. At a hotel dance, she danced with this man, and he asked her to walk outside. Once on the beach, this 6’4″ man asked to have sex and forced her to cooperate by holding her down. Diana was too afraid to resist.
- Multiple Rape (gang rape): The victim is raped by more than one man. Example: Ann, age 21, was at a friend’s home with a group of her peers. There were three men, one other woman, and herself present. When the other woman left, the three men raped her.
- Marital Rape: The victim is raped by her husband. Example: A woman recently had gynaecological surgery. Two days after she came home from the hospital, her husband forced her to have sexual intercourse. This caused her to haemorrhage; she was re-hospitalised.
(Although in all of these examples the attacker is male and the victim female, rape can happen to men or women, and can be carried out by men or women.)
Bullying is not usually considered as a form of abuse, particularly when it’s carried out by children the same age as the victim. However, the long-term effects it has on a person and their mental health can be just as devastating. For more information on what bullying is, read this.
Self-Help & Support
Self-Help Books for Survivors of Abuse
Several excellent self-help books are available in our book store.
Survivors & Friends
Forums providing hope, information and support for sexual abuse survivors, their friends and families.
Resources which may be of use to those who were sexually abused in childhood
Details of organisations, helplines and other resources in the UK.
Further Information
NAPAC
The National Association for People Abused in Childhood. (UK-based.)
Escaping Hades: A Rape and Sexual Abuse Survivor’s Site
Includes information on treatment and healing.
Bully Online
The world’s largest resource on bullying and related issues. Their Why Me? section is particularly good for survivors of bullying.
For those who love an abuse survivor
Guidelines for dealing with someone who has been abused.